Unsettling the Drafts

Revision is an often misunderstood topic in writing. To revise your writing, do not simply read through and check for comma errors, but try to understand and approach your essay in new ways. "Revision" is not about re-doing your work, but about expanding your ideas and learning from yourself as you write.

Here are some ways you can begin to look at your draft in totally new ways:

Find your thesis and keep in mind that this analytical essay should break down your commercial into parts and then evaluating and analyzing those parts. Ask yourself if your thesis explains: 

• What you are analyzing (include the company and the product and the commercial's main "goal" of the advertisement)
• The parts of your analysis (what details of the commercial will you be analyzing)
• The order in which you will be presenting your analysis in the body pargraphs (to provide a logical guideline for your reader
• Example: An analysis of the Geico Hump Day commercial reveals the advertisement’s goal to be an attempt to persuade consumers to switch their insurance to Geico by comparing a new Geico user to a camel, playing upbeat, playful banjo music in the background, and setting the commercial in a comedic atmosphere.

After addressing your thesis, pick a few of the following thinking and writing exercises to complete:

• Start your essay in an entirely different place. If you began with background information on a company/product, this time begin by opening with a description of a scene in the commercial or vice versa.
• Write a new conclusion that answers the “So What?” in a different way. If you don't have a conclusion yet, sketch or outline some ideas of what you might say.
• Write a short letter to me (Ms. Worthington) saying why you chose this commercial and why you think the commercial’s argument is effective/ineffective. 
• Thoroughly describe the setting, the character, the clothing, the music, or any other details of the commercial you’ve only alluded to or briefly mentioned in your essay. 
• Add dialogue or quotations from the commercial where you have only brief descriptions
• Go through your draft and highlight/circle all of the pronouns (you, they, them it, he, she, etc). Replace vague pronouns with who or what you are actually referring to. For example, change “they argue” to “Geico argues” or change “he says” to “the camel says” or “the banjo player says.” Be as specific as possible! 

Not all of these writings will go into your essay or fit in with what you are trying to say, but completing the exercises will help you take a step back and see if there are places that you can improve your writing through re-thinking and revising your current writings. 

How to Workshop in English 1100

So what is a workshop anyways? You may have heard of a writing workshop before, but it's usually called another name...peer review. In this classroom, we will not use this term, as it suggests you are merely reading over your classmates' work, checking for grammar and spelling errors, and making vague, general commentary. In our classroom, we will treat each other with respect and view each other as writers of a work in progress. We will be respectful of everyone's work, make constructive comments, and refrain from using vague comments like "I liked it," "good job," or "needs work." 

Workshopping is about looking at the big picture as well at the details of your classmates' work and offering suggestions on what they do well, what needs come clarification, and having discussions about what types of writing strategies are working and which aren't. Remember, this isn't about being overly critical or overly nice, it's about helping each member of your writing group write their best essay possible, so don't be afraid to make big suggestions and help each other out!

Writing workshops are extremely important and are requirements for finishing your final essay. In fact, they are so important that they are worth 10 points (an entire letter grade!) on your final draft and missing either day of workshopping will result in the deduction of these points. As per the syllabus, if you miss one day of workshopping, your automatic starting grade will drop from 100 to 95. If you miss both days, your automatic starting grade will drop from 100 to 90. Various points will be deducted for failing to complete the required workshop letters. 

YOU MUST UPLOAD YOUR FULL DRAFT TO CANVAS BEFORE CLASS ON WEDNESDAY. YOU ALSO MUST BRING YOUR LAPTOP, iPAD, TABLET, ETC. TO CLASS WEDNESDAY AND FRIDAY TO PARTICIPATE IN THE WRITING WORKSHOP.

In class on Wednesday, September 4th, you will find your designated workshop drafts uploaded and assigned to you on Canvas. You should begin reading the drafts of everyone in your group. In addition to reading the draft, you should write a letter response (one for each member of your writing group) to the essay that does all of the following:

• Begins by addressing the author of the essay by name in  (i.e.-- "Dear Jane,") and closes with signing your name ("Sincerely,  Lauren").
• Say what the author does really well. What’s are the strengths of this draft?
• Are there any places that are weaker than the rest? Where should the author place his or her focus in revisions? The organization, the analysis, the introduction, the conclusions?
• Identify what you see at the author's thesis statement.
• Address the concerns the author raises in the author’s note.
• Address any additional concerns you have that the author may not have noticed.

Also address the following questions:

• Is tone formal and academic? Or is the tone too casual or conversational?
• Briefly scan for MLA issues/problems and address where it looks like the author might need to re-read or revise their work.
• Do you have a clear sense of what the advertisement is about?
• Are the main claims about the advertisement explained and supported by evidence from the commercial and analysis of that evidence?
•  Is the argument style of the advertisement identified? Is the commercial's rhetorical strategy targeted towards ethos, pathos, or logos?
• What claims is your classmate making about how the advertisement works? What are they using as evidence for their claims (quotes,  descriptions of images, etc.) and is it sufficient? Do they need more evidence or more analysis anywhere? 
• Does the writer provide TOO much summary? 

As you write your letters, you must post them to Canvas for your workshop partners to read. You may not finish all of your workshop letters in class-- for homework you MUST finish writing your letters and submit them on Canvas before class begins, as you will be discussing them in class on Friday. 

On Friday, September 6th, you must bring your laptop to class and you must come prepared to discuss each other's work. As there are generally 5 members per group, you will spend 10 minutes discussing each person's draft together for the 50 minute class period. 

I expect that you will all write thoughtful and helpful response letters to your group members. Remember, this is a writing community and we have a common goal as a class to become better writers and to help each other along the way. 

How to Write an Author's Note

For each essay, you will be responsible for including an author's note at the bottom of the last page of your essay. An author's note is pretty simple-- it is a chance for you to ask your writing group questions and for you to make a statement for what your paper is about.

Here's how to write your author's note:

1. First of all, you should ask three questions or state three concerns about your draft for your writing group and for me. Sample questions could be "Is my introduction effective?" "am I consistent and academic in tone?", "Do I transition smoothly between paragraphs?," "do I support my argument?," "is my conclusion working?"

2. Secondly, you'll have a chance to state in 2-3 sentences about what you are hoping to accomplish with your paper. Do not simply regurgitate your thesis, but describe what your paper does and how. This may help you distinguish whether or not you are meeting your goals for what you want to do in your paper and if not, where you are faltering. You may have intended to do one thing, but when you read your draft alongside your author's note, you may find that you need more details from the ad or more analysis on the argument.

When you finish your author's note, simply post it at the end of your draft denoted by
****AUTHOR'S NOTE.

The Process of Invention

By now, you should be getting started on a draft of you ad analysis, but it might not be easy! If you're having trouble getting started, staying focused on what to write, figuring out what terms to use to address your audience, or maybe you feel like you have nothing to say, here are some tips based on the Purdue OWL article on prewriting and the process of invention (the original post can be found online at http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/673/01/).

Introduction to Prewriting

When you sit down to write...

• Does your mind turn blank?
• Are you sure you have nothing to say?

If so, you're not alone. Many writers experience this at some time or another, but some people have strategies or techniques to get them started. When you are planning to write something, try some of the following suggestions.

You can try the textbook formula:

1. State your thesis.
2. Write an outline.
3. Write the first draft.
4. Revise and polish.

. . . but that often doesn't work.

Instead, you can try one or more of these strategies:

Explore the problem — not the topic

1. Who is your reader? (a generally informed and educated audience)
2. What is your purpose? (to analyze an argument that a vintage TV ad makes)
3. Who are you, the writer? (an informed, educated academic writer)
4. With these problems in mind, how would you adjust what you write to fit your audience? Would you write an essay using the same tone as you would when writing a text message or a tweet? How should you alter your writing to fit this scenario?

Make your goals operational

1. How can you achieve your purpose?
2. Can you make a plan?

Generate some ideas by Brainstorming

• Keep writing
• Don't censor or evaluate, just write freely
• Keep returning to the problem
• Return to the heuristic methods from Writing Analytically (Notice and Focus+ Ranking, The Method, Paraphrase x3)

Talk to your reader

• What questions would they ask?
• What different kinds of readers might you have?

Ask yourself what your purpose is for writing about the subject.

There are many "correct" things to write about for any subject, but you need to narrow down your choices. For example, your topic might be "dorm food." At this point, you and your potential reader are asking the same question, "So what?" Why should you write about this, and why should anyone read it?

Do you want the reader to pity you because of the intolerable food you have to eat there (attempting to sway a reader through emotion is a pathos approach).

Do you want to analyze large-scale institutional cooking from your personal experience as a cafeteria food eater? (using your persona and your credibility to sway an author is a ethos approach).

Do you want to compare Auburn's dorm food to that served at The University of Alabama (using an analytical approach of comparison and contrast of statistics or concrete fact is an logos approach that appeals to the logic of your reader).

As you write about your advertisement for your essay, think about HOW the advertisement appeals to its audience!!

Ask yourself how you are going to achieve this purpose.

How, for example, would you achieve your purpose if you wanted to describe some movie as the best you've ever seen? Would you define for yourself a specific means of doing so? Would your comments on the movie go beyond merely telling the reader that you really liked it?

Start the ideas flowing

Brainstorm. Gather as many good and bad ideas, suggestions, examples, sentences, false starts, etc. as you can. Perhaps some friends can join in. Jot down everything that comes to mind, including material you are sure you will throw out. Be ready to keep adding to the list at odd moments as ideas continue to come to mind.

Talk to your audience, or pretend that you are being interviewed by someone — or by several people, if possible (to give yourself the opportunity of considering a subject from several different points of view). What questions would the other person ask? You might also try to teach the subject to a group or class.

See if you can find a fresh analogy that opens up a new set of ideas. Build your analogy by using the word like. For example, if you are writing about violence on television, is that violence like clowns fighting in a carnival act (that is, we know that no one is really getting hurt)?

Take a rest and let it all percolate.

Summarize your whole idea.

Tell it to someone in three or four sentences.

Diagram your major points somehow.

Make a tree, outline, or whatever helps you to see a schematic representation of what you have. You may discover the need for more material in some places. Write a first draft.

Then, if possible, put it away. Later, read it aloud or to yourself as if you were someone else. Watch especially for the need to clarify or add more information.

You may find yourself jumping back and forth among these various strategies.

You may find that one works better than another. You may find yourself trying several strategies at once. If so, then you are probably doing something right.

(adapted from Purdue OWL's article on Prewriting and Invention. Original article written by Allen Brizee).

Paraphrase x3 Heuristic

According to Writing Analytically, Paraphrase x3 is one of the easiest and most useful heuristics--this heuristic will help you discover ideas, fuel interpretation, and ultimately, help analyze question key ideas and details rather than assuming you understand them.

For Essay 1, you should try out Paraphrase x3 on several of the key lines from your commercial-- are there any repeating phrases or taglines? Is there a major introductory or conclusion statement about the product? Practicing Paraphrase x3 will help you dig into the material of the commercial and gain an in-depth understanding of how your commercial's argument functions.

Below you will find an article on how TV commercials work. First, individually skim pages. 36-38 in Writing Analytically and then read the article below. Then join with your writing groups to practice Paraphrase x3 on the bolded text your group is assigned. You may use laptops, phones, etc. to help you come up with synonyms for words. After you come up with 3 paraphrases, return to the original bolded passage and interpret the meaning while taking into consideration all the paraphrasing you have done. Nominate a group member to record you work and one or two members to share your ideas with the rest of the class.


How TV Commercials Influence American Culture:

(1)TV ads are built on one simple idea: If you buy X, you'll get Y. But Y is rarely the product itself. Rather, it's a positive emotion, a perfect relationship, higher social status or an amazing experience. For example, if you buy Big Red gum, you'll get to "kiss a little longer." Or if you go to Toys "R" Us, you'll reconnect with your youthful self, allowing you to have even more fun with your kids: After all, you don't wanna grow up, 'cause maybe if you did, you couldn't be a Toys "R" Us kid! Leaving the jingles aside, if you had a Verizon phone, you'd be able to stay close with your family. Or if you owned a Kia car, you would immediately transform into an ultracool rodent. (Well, maybe that one's a little far-fetched!)

Maybe more importantly, in terms of TV ads' impact on culture, buying Calvin Klein jeans will make you sexy like Kate Moss, or buying Nike sports apparel will make you ready to "Just Do It," like a professional beach volleyball player. Of course, this isn't breaking news. (2) What's cool, though, is how exactly it works -- more specifically, how tv ads both reflect culture and drive it forward, pulling us unsuspecting viewers along with it.

In the early 1900s, clever industrialists faced competition from other clever industrialists. They quickly realized that instead of simply selling a better cooking stove, for example, they could sell the idea that their cooking stove above any other on the market was the key to a "modern" household. And what did society want? It wanted to be modern. And how did society achieve this? By buying brand X's stove, because it appeared to be the obvious choice. And thus the idea of buying your way to an idealized life was born.

We've already established that TV ads reflect culture. They parrot back to consumers what consumers already want: a modern household, the ability to properly nurture a family according to cultural standards, the perfect relationship and more.

(3) But this reflection is a magic mirror: one that you can look into and see not you as you are, but a better self. According to the ads, this better self is funnier than you (the misquoted football coaches of Coors), cooler than you (the guy driving a Dodge Charger) and way, way sexier than you (Kate Moss, Tyra Banks or the ever-alluring David Hasselhoff).

In fact, almost all of the 16,000 ads the average American sees every day have one thing in common: They're idealized (Savan). Idealization means that whatever's happening in the ad is ahead of where culture is right now. It's not what we've got, but instead it's richer, sexier and cooler!

(4) TV ads drive culture by reflecting only the lucky top 0.001 percent of what's possible, and then when the remaining 99.999 percent of culture imitates it, the center of culture shifts. Ads show sexy, liberated women smoking, so more average American women start smoking to try to achieve that sexy liberation. Ads show perfect natural beauty, or athletic beauty, or posh beauty, or stick-figure beauty, and when culture imitates these ideals, the center shifts and the ads have to get more extreme to remain ideal. For example, how could you not want to be as cool as the Kia hamsters in their saggy pants, hoodies and dark glasses?

(5) If we're not careful, these ads can be cultural quicksand. Culture suggests something and ads drive it -- whether the destination is worthwhile or not is beside the point.


Excepted from howstuffworks.com--  "How do TV commercials influence American consumers?"

•    Allor, Kevin. "The Rise of Advertisement and American Consumer Culture." Maryland State Archives. Aug. 24, 2006. (March 28, 2011)http://teachingamericanhistorymd.net/000001/000000/000129/html/t129.html

•    Craig, Steve. "Madison Avenue versus The Feminine Mystique: How the Advertising Industry Responded to the Onset of the Modern Women's Movement." Popular Culture Association. March 27, 1997. (March 28, 2011)http://www.asc.upenn.edu/courses/comm334/Docs/femads.pdf

•    Ewen, Stuart and Elizabeth Ewen. "Channels of Desire: Mass Images and the Shaping of American Consciousness." University of Minnesota Press. 1992.

•    Savan, Leslie. "The Bribed Soul: Ads, TV and American Culture." Center for Media Literacy. (March 28, 2011)http://www.medialit.org/reading-room/bribed-soul-ads-tv-and-american-culture

•    Schudson, Michael. "Advertising, the Uneasy Persuasion: Its Dubious Impact on American Society." Basic Books. 1984.

Safe Saving Practices and Writing Groups

Safe Saving Practices
Today in class, we discussed electronic resources that will help you develop safe saving practices. In addition to saving documents to Word, using a flashdrive, hard drive, or emailing yourself copies of your work, there are also online options that include Google Drive (which is provided as a part of a Google account) and DropBox (which can be found at dropbox.com). As a precaution, I save my important work in 3 different places. You may use whatever combination of these makes you feel the most comfortable, but I suggest getting into the habit of saving files in multiple locations in case of a computer crash.

Writing Groups
As you begin the drafting process, you will be introduced to your writing group, which is a group consisting of you and 4 of your classmates that will work together all semester. You may be asked to get together for group work or discussion and this will be the group you work with during writing workshops. You'll learn more about this process as the workshop process is explained. The groups are divided randomly as follows:

Section 35 (10am)

Group 1: William, Courtney, Wesley, Parker, Thomas
Group 2: Sam, Austin, Melissa, Zac, Marissa
Group 3: Ali, Jack, Anna, Curt, Rob
Group 4: Lukas, Tucker, Hana, Kevin, Beth
Group 5: Erin, Michael, Harrison, Blake, Riley


Section 41 (11am)

Group 1:Jerred, John P., Hannah-Rose, Jaylynn, Auty
Group 2: Luke, Morgan B., Tyler, John. S., Blue
Group 3:Avery, Parker, Helen, John T., Jordan
Group 4: Morgan W., Laura, Josh, Brooke, Nate
Group 5: Allison, Libby, Ryan, Michael, Caroline

Practicing Heuristics with "Crossfire" Clip

Happy Friday, all! Don't forget to browse the AdViews archive (http://library.duke.edu/digitalcollections/adviews/) over the weekend and find an ad that appeals to you and you might like to write about in Essay 1. If you want to get started brainstorming and writing down ideas, go ahead and get started! Otherwise, I'll expect to see your first draft (at least one page!) submitted on Canvas by class time on Wednesday.

In class today we watched the clip of Jon Stewart's appearance on "Crossfire" and practiced the Notice and Focus + Ranking heuristic. Over the weekend, you should read the section on The Method in Writing Analytically (pgs. 26-35), where you'll learn to work with patterns of repetition and contrast and what to do with your observations. 

After reading this section of the text, apply the Notice and Focus + Ranking and The Method to the Crossfire clip (Link to Crossfire video in case you would like to re-watch). Review your Notice and Focus + Ranking notes from class and use The Method to analyze the evidence by looking for patterns of repetition and contrast. Be sure to look at the "So What" section on pages 33-36 and include those ideas in your post. We'll discuss your work in class on Monday.

Welcome to English 1100!

Welcome to our class blog! Here you will find prompts for homework blog posts, class news, videos, and links to articles relevant to our coursework. Be sure to check back for new posts on a regular basis and get used to posting and navigating the format of the blogs. Don't worry about making your blog fancy-- it can be as plain (or as elaborate!) as you'd like. This is your writing space, so make it fit you.

After you have set up your account and created your blog, please email me the link and I will add your blog to your section's blog roll, which can be found on the right-hand side of my blog and they are divided up by section and class time. To read posts by your classmates, just click on your section's blog roll, pick any name, and get started reading!

Now that you've gotten familiar with the lay-out of blogger.com, here's your first blog post assignment to get you comfortable with writing on an online forum and for your audience (your class members and myself). Keep it short, around 500 words, and relatively information. Focus on the task assigned and try not to worry about making each post "100% polished, final essay submission" material. This is designed to get you thinking and writing, not to test your knowledge of grammatical rules.

For your first post, I'd like you to think about your high school writing process from start to finish. Where do you brainstorm, how do you come up with ideas? I would like you to write about all of the steps you take to get from receiving an assignment to turning in the finished product. You are free to write about any aspect of your writing process that you want, but be sure to include the HARDEST part about writing an essay for you and the EASIEST part. Getting started? The conclusion? Grammar? I'm interested in hearing about your strengths and weaknesses!

If you have trouble figuring out what to write here are some things to think about: What do you do when you first get an essay assignment? Do you begin immediately or procrastinate? How do you brainstorm ideas? Do you start with a pen and paper or do you immediately begin typing? How do you come up with your thesis? Do you pick a topic that's easiest to write about or one that's more difficult or interesting  What environment do you work best in (library, at home, an on-campus computer lab? What time of day works best for you to focus? Do you prefer complete silence or do you need background noise? TV or music? Which genre of music makes your most productive? Do you proof-read yourself or do you ask others to help out? How do you organize your paragraphs? How many drafts to you go through?

Happy writing!