Unsettling the Drafts

Revision is an often misunderstood topic in writing. To revise your writing, do not simply read through and check for comma errors, but try to understand and approach your essay in new ways. "Revision" is not about re-doing your work, but about expanding your ideas and learning from yourself as you write.

Here are some ways you can begin to look at your draft in totally new ways:

Find your thesis and keep in mind that this analytical essay should break down your commercial into parts and then evaluating and analyzing those parts. Ask yourself if your thesis explains: 

• What you are analyzing (include the company and the product and the commercial's main "goal" of the advertisement)
• The parts of your analysis (what details of the commercial will you be analyzing)
• The order in which you will be presenting your analysis in the body pargraphs (to provide a logical guideline for your reader
• Example: An analysis of the Geico Hump Day commercial reveals the advertisement’s goal to be an attempt to persuade consumers to switch their insurance to Geico by comparing a new Geico user to a camel, playing upbeat, playful banjo music in the background, and setting the commercial in a comedic atmosphere.

After addressing your thesis, pick a few of the following thinking and writing exercises to complete:

• Start your essay in an entirely different place. If you began with background information on a company/product, this time begin by opening with a description of a scene in the commercial or vice versa.
• Write a new conclusion that answers the “So What?” in a different way. If you don't have a conclusion yet, sketch or outline some ideas of what you might say.
• Write a short letter to me (Ms. Worthington) saying why you chose this commercial and why you think the commercial’s argument is effective/ineffective. 
• Thoroughly describe the setting, the character, the clothing, the music, or any other details of the commercial you’ve only alluded to or briefly mentioned in your essay. 
• Add dialogue or quotations from the commercial where you have only brief descriptions
• Go through your draft and highlight/circle all of the pronouns (you, they, them it, he, she, etc). Replace vague pronouns with who or what you are actually referring to. For example, change “they argue” to “Geico argues” or change “he says” to “the camel says” or “the banjo player says.” Be as specific as possible! 

Not all of these writings will go into your essay or fit in with what you are trying to say, but completing the exercises will help you take a step back and see if there are places that you can improve your writing through re-thinking and revising your current writings.